Only a Kiss

August 6th, 2008

Dearest little Son of mine,

I want to write this little note so I can capture more perfectly a memory from today that you gave to me. But the main reason is so you'll know, when you get bigger, how much you mean to me.

Today I was tired. I had lots of work to do, and you kept getting into trouble which caused extra interruptions to me. As the day wore on, I got grumpier and grumpier without even needing a cause. I didn't praise, or encourage you when you were being good, but I did notice even if I was busy with the trouble your sisters were causing.

You bit your older sister today and you broke pieces off of my Jade plant that I so jealously guard. You climbed over the stair gate (and back) to get one of your trucks after I told you not to. You picked dandelion leaves and dropped them in the kiddie pool immediately after I told you not to do just that and you even spit your last bite of breakfast all over your lap in the hope of not eating it. And that was just your contribution to the chaos of today.

But you also did things that I appreciated - even though I didn't tell you then. You picked up some garbage on the floor of the kitchen and put it in the garbage can without being asked. You ate your dinner with enthusiasm and asked for more which you ate before Daddy got home to take us to meeting. You went to sleep for your nap right away - I didn't even have to come in once to remind you to go to sleep. You took a really nice long nap, and gave up your soother right away once you woke up - cheerfully. You rode very quietly in the car on the way to meeting without shouting out the presence of every BIG TRUCK we came within sight of. You asked nicely for juice when you got up from your nap, and you earnestly looked for your sippy cup when it was supper time. You even rode home from meeting silently while I simmered away in the front seat just waiting to pounce on the first disobedient kid.

The thing that meant the most to me today was what you did when I got you ready for bed tonight. I dragged you away from your pile of toy cars on the couch and marched you off to the nursery, but you didn't go kicking and whining in protest - I noticed that later actually. Then I changed your diaper, and put your pajama pants on you. When I sat you up to take your shirt off, you leaned in and gave me a hug. At first I thought you were just stalling - trying to put off your bedtime by a few extra minutes, but then you sat back again and put your hands on each side of my neck and gave me a great big kiss on my cheek. You didn't know it, but I almost started to cry right then. That one little kiss changed my whole day around. I thanked you and gave you a hug, and you hugged me back. Then I took your play shirt off and put your pajama shirt on. Once that was done, you gave me another kiss. And another.. and another. Finally ending up kissing me right on the lips.

You didn't say anything the entire time I got you ready for bed, but I think you knew you'd made me feel better because you had that rare, proud little smile on that is so special and that I love so much to see. So, I just want to say thank you dear son of mine. You loved me even when I probably deserved it the least, and in expressing that love, you reminded me of how much I let slip by me unnoticed - or at least unmentioned - at times. I love you so much and I forget so often that you are only just two years old. Thank you for being such a sweet loving little boy so deep down inside.

So, I'm writing this to you now, to tell you when you can understand how special you are to me. And you'll always be precious to me - You always have been, and each day that passes I love you more.

Love always,
~ Mama